SHAKEN and STIRRED

SHAKEN AND STIRRED. It happened rather suddenly. A light flipped on. At a dinner party. All the thoughts that had been percolating inside my head were revealed, exposed, laid bare, right there on the table. Voiced by others. I listened. I fumbled with words. In an instant I had forgotten the dialogue I had been holding on to - repeating to myself over and over - and instead, the words of others came rolling in like a tide change over the places where I was stuck. 

The voices differed from one to  the other, yet each focused on Possibility in whatever form it might take, even if Possibility meant loss, letting go, crisis and transition and ultimately re-birth. There was no accord, but neither was there discord. There was no conflict, just conversation. We were interested in the dialogue, the process of clearing away what holds us back, not focused on finding the answers on our dinner plates. 

Each perspective sat comfortably with my own analysis of the future and the many nuances inherent not simply in navigating Life’s path, but charting its course, and riding its waves. as best we can.

I am open and not particularly shy, but the truth is I can’t stand being in the spotlight – that’s for a different kind of person – so it was an excruciating moment for me - to be in the spotlight in order to see the light. It was as liberating as it was scary. I went home and cried a bit. A release and a realization that it was the shake up I needed. I had to look at my life and all its potential in a new way. And that was that. Go on, Good Girl, Listen Up. Sometimes, we need to be shaken in order to be stirred. 

#goodfriends #smartpeople #dialogue #healingandwellness #godeep #dothework #doyourbest #letitgo #dinnerparty #mirrors #catharsis #Light

SLOW MOTION MORNING

SLOW MOTION MORNING. Last night after homework, a bike ride, playtime with friends, outside until the fading light, and a slow-cooked beef for dinner… my son went to bed happy, and asked: “can you wake me up super-early and pretend we’re very late for school so I jump out of bed? And then we’ll be early. And then we’ll have more time. I like our slow mornings together.” Heck yeah! What a fun and silly way to shake things up this morning and to make room for JOY.  Amazing what one small change can do. Go on, Good Girl, get your SLOW MO on!

FALLING STILL: The Biology of Chill Out

We all know about Falling In Love, Falling Apart, Falling Over, Falling to Pieces, Falling Down but we're less familiar with Falling Still and that's probably because we're just not programmed to fall and we're definitely not very good at staying, doing, sitting or being still, let alone falling still. 

Like a child who just can't stop wiggling, even as grown-ups we never really master the art of being still. We're human. We're made to move but these days, most of us move too much and often for the wrong reasons that it goes waaay beyond a wiggly kid. All this movement isn’t necessarily a good thing.

On a deep cellular level we are in constant motion. Even when we think we're just sitting there - watching t.v., talking on the phone, sending emails, checking social media - our systems are firing away, constantly sending out messages from one part of the body to another...so much so, that we're losing our ability to switch off. and it's wreaking havoc on our biological imperatives.

Our bodies and nervous system need a chance to rest and recover so that bio-chemical signals won’t get screwed up, but we’re not slowing down and our nervous systems are super-charged. We’re losing our ability to recharge. The signals are getting mixed up. As individuals and groups, our collective balance is more diminished than it is fortified. As a result, many of us are developing chronic illness in the shape of freaky aches and pains, mood swings, anxiety and apathy and deeper systemic issues.   

I first learned about the underlying cause for this while attending a lecture series given by Mark Pettus.

As part of an effort to make the biology of self-care a little easier to understand, Mark illustrates how the social and cultural context in which we now live has moved forward at lightning speed.  Our genetic endowment and the survival edge it brings with it are still primitive, which means that our human design has maintained many of the Stone Age imperatives - but life in the fast lane has not. Our bodies are not well adapted for this disconnect and eventually bodies break down. 

In his lecture on Allostasis and Mind Body Balance, Mark further explains that Thoughts ["lost at sea"]; Behaviors [away from healthy choices]; and Emotions and Feelings [fear, sadness, anxiety] are all manifestations of Fight or Flight that increase blood pressure, insulin, sugar, and a fatty mid-section, while decreasing memory and resilience. But wait, there’s more… 

We humans are driven by another neurobiological system - the reward-motivation response. We can’t get through life without experiences that inspire, motivate and reward us with meaning and feelings of optimism, hope and joy.  Resilient individuals have cultivated a reward system that is resistant to setbacks, whether catastrophic or chronic. Life's difficulties do not diminish these individual's capacity to experience positive emotions.

THE OPPOSITE HOLDS TRUE for individuals whose reward response is dampened. They are less likely to experience pleasure in their lives and are more prone to states of anxiety and depression and poor health. They are less resilient…and this is why Falling Still matters more now than ever before.

Falling Still is quite simply, a process. If we wish to re-capture our balance, we need to fine-tune our ability to switch off and allow our bodies to rest and recover, to float. In order to enjoy healthy, vibrant lives, we must surrender – we must fall still. The act of falling still permits our breath - and all the power it holds - to course through our bodies and nourish and strengthen every part. As we regain strength and balance, the signals that were once muddled become clear, and strong once again.

The act of falling still is more than a poetic way of saying CHILL THE HECK OUT. It’s an effective and essential part of Self-Care, the practice of learning and incorporating new daily practices that can guide our bodies to rest and healing. If you’re at all like me, you probably need some help learning ways to create the space and time and indeed, the breathing room to do so.